Zero Lives Left – Ninja Gaiden 3

Game: Ninja Gaiden 3
Released: 2012
Available On: Xbox 360 (Review), Playstation 3, Wii U [November 2012]
Genre: Action

I want to start by apologizing for missing a week. I posted a Stuck Up Cinema last Monday and then, somehow by the stars, I ended up not posting anything else. I would love to make excuses, but I’ll just be honest with everyone and say that I was lazy. I also had ‘blogging fatigue’, three posts a week is just not for me. With that being said I’m going to turn Video Game Rage from a weekly post into a ‘whenever I get the idea’ post. This will ensure that it stays fresh and I will only post about things that truly interest me.

I want to then apologize in advance for this review. This game made me break one of my rules of reviewing video games. Back in the day in my Resident Evil: Operation Raccoon City review I expressed disappointment in not completing the game and trying to form an opinion on it. Unfortunately it happened again with Ninja Gaiden 3, but I still want to fight through my own hypocrisy and review this game anyway because, god willing, I still formed an opinion on it. Sure, it’s an opinion that isn’t based on a full game but it’s my opinion and I’ll stand by it. I made it about half way through Resident Evil: ORC… how far did I make it through Ninja Gaiden?

…well, I never saw THIS environment…

Not that far at all. I sat down and tried playing through it twice and both times I just put my controller down, not in frustration, but in sheer boredom. Yes, close the window now if this bothers you: I maybe played this game for about an hour before I decided that it just wasn’t for me. Maybe it’s because I’ve been playing A LOT of Dark Souls and I want more from my action games. Maybe I just didn’t find the difficulty as engaging as Ninja Gaiden 2 and instead I saw it more as tedious and uninspired. Maybe I just found the camera movement during combat to be dull and headache inducing?

Honestly? All three of those are fair reasons for it.

I just didn’t like Ninja Gaiden 3. I think I realized this early on. It wasn’t during the combat as I was just trying to get back into my groove from its predecessor, but it was at a moment where the game pretty much forces you to murder a helpless thug as he’s begging for his life. Is this supposed to be cool? Is this supposed to make me feel powerful or badass? It made me feel like a giant douchebag. This was my hero, this was who I was trying to connect with… I just felt  it was so distasteful. Maybe that’s a sign of me growing up? No, probably not, moreso me just disliking a bad method of characterization and story telling. We need to connect with this character, try not to make him a giant festering dick please, the scene was completely unnecessary.

That’s how you climb walls. Fun, huh?

There is a multiplayer portion of the game that I never really played. I wanted to play it, because it seemed neat and I figured I’d give it a shot. However the desire to play it was outmatched by my desire to get the game OUT OF MY HOUSE. So, it’s kind of obvious to say that I never really played any of it. I’ll just assume that it would be fun with a group of friends, but you’d be hard pressed to find a group of friends who all own this game. I’ll also further predict that the online community will slowly die out, if it’s not dead already.

I’m sorry for being so pessimistic and short sighted on this game, but it was just crap to me. Maybe it got better after the point I stopped, granted I stopped early on, but the combat just made me feel so unbelievably bored. I play video games to forget about my problems or the stress in life and just relax while the controller is in my hand– Ninja Gaiden 3 essentially promised me that it would ensure I would never forget about my problems when it was around. It’s like some sort of grief counsellor that instead of listening to you talk about girlfriend problems, it sleeps with your girlfriend and then shows you pictures of the act instead.

Ninja Gaiden 3 is not recommended. Play the earlier instalments if you’re interested, otherwise stay FAR away.

Ninja Gaiden 3: 2/10 (for the number of Chapters I got in)

HI-YAH!

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