Zero Lives Left – Jurassic Park: The Game

Game: Jurassic Park: The Game
Released: 2011
Available On: Xbox 360 (Review), Playstation 3, PC
Genre: Uh… Quick Time Event Adventure, I guess?

After Monday’s extremely out of place and serious Stuck Up Cinema I decided that I needed this Zero Lives Left to balance it out and be something fun and ridiculous. With that, I put forth the question what is more ridiculous than dinosaurs? Of course, the answer to that is dinosaurs wearing top hats, but three quarters through the game I can confirm that there are no dinosaurs in top hats… yet. A couple weeks ago I reviewed Asura’s Wrath and at the end of said review I foreshadowed to receiving another Quick Time Event based game in the mail, Jurassic Park: The Game is that game. Both games are more ‘interactive movies’ than video game, however one game (Asura) handled it very well and the other… uh, didn’t really succeed as much as its brethren did. And all this is coming from a guy who really likes dinosaurs.

Hey! I recognize you from that one movie!

Jurassic Park: The Game’s gameplay, if you wanted to call it that, is very limited and will never leave you satisfied. This is because the game takes place in only two game modes, one is quick time events and the other is stationary dialogue and puzzle solving extravaganza. It’s not as exciting as it sounds either. Your character doesn’t move and you control the camera around with the right stick to interact with a small handful of objects or characters. There’s really no choice and there’s really no gameplay involved. At no point, in the entire time I’ve spent playing, have I used the left stick to move my character. They just stand there, stationary and stiff like a robot awaiting a command from their extremely limited command list.

That’s the majority of this game, it’s attempting to be an ‘interactive movie’ and not a video game and with that I am quite happy that I didn’t pay anything for this and just rented it. If I paid money I would feel like I was cheated with a below average gaming experience, with a frustratingly limited gameplay style. I have about 5 missions left to do and I’ve only been playing the game for about 3 and a half hours. It’s short, dull, monotonous, frustrating and any other words you can find to describe boring in the thesaurus.

“Wanna get dinner later?”

The worst part is that I really wanted to like this game and I was very hopeful that it would be good. The first few missions were fun, and then when I quickly realized what the whole game was my smile just faded. The story is a good extension to the Jurassic Park mythos, but towards the end the characters just become unbelievably stupid. There was this one moment that just floored me with the stupidity of it. In the middle of trying to escape and sneak away from a group of deadly raptors this one character responds by trying to sneak away from the group and smoke a cigarette she stole from another character. In the process she alerts the raptors and nearly gets everybody killed. Why in the– what the– why did you– how did– UGH.

The quick time event action set pieces are impressive, but it’s a fully choreographed action scene with little player control… of course it’s going to be impressive. If they can get the same amount of spectacle and excitement from actual gameplay then that would be something to praise, but at this point saying a QTE section looks good is like saying dogs bark. Throughout I found myself craving the ability to actually control my character. Looking back now at this point I wasn’t even a gamer while playing this game, I was a puppet being told what to do and I just did it. I whored my gaming self out to this game all because I think dinosaurs are neat. I feel dirty…

Overall Jurassic Park: The Game is more bad than good. This QTE only game thing shouldn’t become a lasting trend, it should die out in the stupidity and mediocrity it comes from. Asura’s Wrath is an exception because it balances different forms of gameplay around its QTEs. Jurassic Park just lives and festers within its QTE sequences. This game isn’t good, which is a damn shame because it really should be. We deserve a good Jurassic Park game because it’s a concept that a lot could be done with. I mean there’s fricking dinosaurs in it. DINOSAURS.

Jurassic Park: The Game: 4/10

Don’t forget to wash your hands!

Small addition after actually completing the game: the climax of the game’s QTE was actually really fun and exciting. But… it’s a QTE… so, BOOOOO!


Let us know your thoughts!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s